God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
