You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
