I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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