Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
