My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
