So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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