You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
