Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
