we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was CRYING into my vagina
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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