Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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