This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Actions speak louder than pants.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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