I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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