I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
