apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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