new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
