It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
