i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
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No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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