It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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