Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
