i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
