you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
