omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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