Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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