you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
