she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
