Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
