Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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