Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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