Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
