How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
