Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
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I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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