idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize