My brain says no but my pants say off.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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