ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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