a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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