its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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