got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
