sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
