No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
