I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
