covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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