What did we do last night that was yellow?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
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like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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