Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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