Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
