i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
