He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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