my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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