I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
