do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
