"it" just moved
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
