a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't turn off my feet"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
