What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
