Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
