Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize