I wish I could teleport
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
