Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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