she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
