yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
